Theo’s Table 4
Location: Granville Street, Vancouver Started at 11:30pm. Ended at 00:30pm. 1 hour. At this point, I was tired and my listening skills were low.
2 Indian guys. They hovered around me for a few minutes before finally approaching me. It seemed like they were discussing what to talk about with me. They came to ask if I supported the LGBT. I said yes. They responded that they hate the gays, and expressed all sorts of homophobic thoughts. Little did they know that I'm queer. My face is very expressive so without saying anything they noticed that I was judging them so hard. They told me not to judge before i could say anything, so I was in this awkward position where I had a strong desire to change their minds. They asked why i support the lgbt, I said that everyone should love whoever they want, it doesnt harm anyone. Before i could finish my thoughts, they interrupted me It's difficult to listen to someone who's views you strongly oppose. I was relieved when they left because I didn't want to listen to them. I failed the no judgment rule. I honestly dont know how to act in this situation without arguing, so I need advice on this.
Girl stays with her closeted gay boyfriend. It's obvious that the bf is using her to pretend to be straight to the public, and doesn't actually love her. But she loves him. Another hard situation to not judge. The thoughts that are running my mind were "She's so delusional. Just leave the guy and find someone else who doesn't flirt with other guys." She gave me the vibe of a person that makes poor life decisions on a daily basis, but that's my judgment. I should have listened without building an image of the person in front of me. She constantly asked about my opinion, but I didnt answer. How do I avoid questions about getting advice or opinions on things? Should I give my opinions or stance?
Sex addict. He seemed like he was high on weed or drunk. Expressed how he was having trouble emotionally connecting with women because of wanting sex all the time. I asked him if he was ashamed of this, and he said yes. I accidentally gave him advice from my personal experience because I related to him too much. I told him that horniness is a natural part of you and if you can't do anything about it no matter how hard you try, accept it. Shame disappears when you collaborate instead of fight against the urges. I told him to bust a nut quick before going on a date so his mind is cleared of sexual thoughts, and he can talk to women normally. His mind was blown when I said this, and he thanked me for giving him my wisdom. I think whatever substance he was on, made my words more powerful than it should be. It felt impossible to resist the urge to give this man advice for a problem I knew too well.
Bella. SJW leftist girl with republican boyfriend who was experiencing nausea from alcohol and puking next to her. Those two seemed drunk, and they had 2 other friends with them who seemed more sober. She was telling me that she loved her boyfriend despite his slightly homophobic beliefs that clashes with her's, and she wants to understand why he feels that way. She gave me an important lesson: try to understand the other person chose to have the opposing viewpoint before judgment.
Guy saw my sign then said "SHE LEFT ME!... that's all I wanted to say," and walked away.
Total time: 7.5 hours. 8.5 hours with breaks.
I did it for too many hours in one week (13 hours), so I feel overwhelmed. I shall take a mental break from the listening table and regulate it better, like Orly's 2-3 hours/week.
Reflection:
I feel like something has changed within me after listening to almost 20 people. I am usually numb and my friends describe my behavior as robotic, which i agree with. However, now I feel more human. I haven't felt this sensitive and emotional in 2 years.
I have shed tears randomly throughout the days. It's like I have absorbed the sadness of all the people I had talked to.
I will be monitoring my emotions as I go about my days waiting till i'm ready to do another table.