Luc’s Table 1
Location: Ottawa, ON, Canada
Table #1 – Dow’s Lake -September 4th, 2023 ( Labor Day )
I set up my table while wrestling with some anxiety, hoping to have both a lot of guests and no guests at the same time. I nodded and gave some awkward smiles to passersby as I struggled to decide what to do with my hands.
Guest 1 ~ It was not long before a middle-aged man took some interest in my table and asked what I was doing. I explained how the table worked and asked if there was anything he felt like talking about. He paused a moment before declining, commenting on the futility of speaking to the words and actions of others before slowly walking away. I couldn’t help but feel like maybe this was a missed opportunity for the man to share his burden. I thought of calling to encourage him to stay, but ultimately chose to respect his decision.
Guest 2 ~ A woman who was jogging by slowed to also ask about the table. This woman was much more curious than any others that had stopped to ask what I was doing. She was not satisfied with just an explanation of the table; asking about who I was, what kind of training I had to, and why I would start such a project. Despite her volunteered decline of stopping to talk, then taking a seat, then staying for a full conversation, each question answered got her more invested and eventually started a full conversation. She spoke about culture shock she felt between her culture of origin and Western Culture, and how she still feels that shock even 20+ years after coming to Canada. She went on to talk about her family and her place in life. She had decided some time ago to dedicate herself to family and elders. At the time she felt fulfilled with her decision and embraced the time she spent with her grandmother, but also how she noticed that lately she began to feel regret about lost time and a feeling of being adrift on her own journey. The conversation turned to philosophy at this point, speaking to that feeling of drifting and being ‘behind the curve’ in life. Both of us seemed to express the same mantras of ‘each story is different’ and ‘enjoy the journey, not the destination’ using our own words while at the same time unable to fully apply them to our own lives. We spoke of Life, Love, Experience, Goals, and many other topics while she sat with me before either of us realized that we had been talking for over 2 hours. The last thing the woman talked about was how she had not intended to talk with me for any real length of time, but she is working on being more open to inspiration and opportunities that come into her life day to day. She shared with me that something in the back of her mind was telling her to stay and thanked me for being an opportunity to practice being open to the new and different.
I packed my table and chairs reflecting on what I learned:
We all live our own unique lives, each one different from all the others. Yet we are all the same in that we are here experiencing the same feelings of happiness, grief, frustration, and joy. All just trying to figure it out.
Active listening with no advice is going to be much more of a challenge that I thought it would be.