Table 1
A Little Context
This is my journal entry from the first time I set up my table. November 11th, 2021, just about three months ago. As of the writing of this preface, I’ve set up this table maybe twenty times and have counted fifty-three deeper conversations and hundreds more brief interactions where people have stopped by to share their support and appreciation for this tabling that I’ve been setting up. This blog series is a practice in sharing my experience and what I’ve learned, to give myself and others a chance to gain something from this. As we move through my entries, we’ll be able to see what I paid attention to both internally and, through my description, what I noticed and cared to write down. Since this is both my first entry and my first blog post, I know there will be a lot of room for growth in so many areas. So thank you for joining me here. Please feel encouraged to leave a comment if it’s convenient in which you share a curious thought or an observation if something sparks for you while you read. Until next time. And now:
Day One (November 11th)
I am now at my listening booth and I can now say that I am here. Only of the things I’ve learned about being here is understanding where foot traffic is properly set up. I’m going to need practice picking better locations. It’s a delicious thought that I am setting up here on the first try, and that’s okay. I’m realizing that I can do this at different of the day and different places and maybe bring a different table. I have as many trials as I need. I could choose a higher traffic area. All the people who walk across here seem to be going places or walking their dogs. I like the idea of doing this somewhere other than in front of a school. What if I didn’t bring a table and just brought a stool and a sign?
Some ideas:
- Down at the beach.
- On Grand near the village.
- On Main near the village
- By the big park
- The Promenade
- Venice beach
- The Bike Path
I’m thinking I could do this in one of those locations tomorrow (It’s Friday) or even on Sunday could be great. The car traffic is less than helpful. It's a wonderful thing I've tried here and connecting with people out at the park is a fun idea. The bigger park would be an interesting try. I can also bring my dogs next time. Because they’re at the house and they like to be outside.
Hey! A man stopped by. Let’s call him Billy. He stopped his walk briefly to share the sentiment that ‘people don't listen to each other’. He told me about the Change My Mind table that someone sets up in New York and we spoke about that a little bit. I let him know that this is more about listening to people rather than trying to convince anyone of anything… other than that listening skills are important…
I did it! I talked to one person! I am so happy! I’m so happy! What happened? My very kind and friendly neighbor recognized me from her car, pulled over, got out and came over. She said, “What do you want to talk about?” And I told her I was here to listen, if there was anything that she was proud of lately, or that she wanted to share with someone else who could listen. She told me about how she had the intention of coming out of the pandemic stronger. I asked her what that meant to her. I tried to identify values like those I’d been learning about in Oren’s class. She told me about a situation that she was dealing with that was difficult for her, that she wanted to figure out how to resolve. I felt for her and I tried to show that by really listening. After about ten or fifteen minutes, she thanked me for listening and went back to her car, and drove off.
What can I do to make this work any better than it already does? We will see if I can make this a regular thing and kind the right saying that makes people comfortable to chat, to be heard and all that. And there is the idea of using the skills I am learning. Not having any expectations, I am considering this a gaping success because one person talked to me and I have only been here for about forty-five minutes. Also, only about ten people have even walked by so… Billy said a store is a good place to be outside of. That's a place people go to spend time. It does seem like another location, a destination, is a good place to go. Somewhere that people go to be, rather than pass through.