Orly’s Table 7

Tiffany Van Goey is my first silent observer and I am curious to hear the results and reflections. We’ve been here for about ten minutes and we’ve already had two kind wishes from strangers. It’s a little chilly and the sun is all but tucked behind the cloud layer. I see it burning through in time. Until then, I’ll do some reading.

The Catholic Woman: Tiffany and the catholic woman hit it off during the first interaction of the day. Yes, you’re now one-for-one, so we’re thriving. I got to see myself get to experience what it’s like when the neutral observer goes into her own ownership of the positioning, aka she led the table. Not a bad rub, in fact, this was a great learning experience for us both. I got to experience the value of training and giving my silent observer some context for their assignment. I also get to see what happens when a less experienced person comes to the table, how excited they are to jump into conversation, and how challenging silence is. (This is a good place to mention that I have silent observer experience through freedom to choose.)

I notice Tiffany’s eagerness to relate. She mentions that she is also catholic, and tells the story of how her grandmother worked at Notre Dame and read scriptures regularly.

Delightful connection, sure. Great listening? Unsure.

It’s a vibe. I got to experience feelings of confusion. Maybe I was surprised. And we got to see it.

Woman and Man: Part two. They are curious about our backstories, how we got here. I feel like the two-person table requires some practice and discussion ahead of time. To say something like, I rely on the thought that you are here to observe. These are directed to teamwork, rather than the conversations. I have yet to participate in them since I’m allowing room. So I would offer a script for Tiffany for the next round of this. Something like, “I am here to observe. I am working on my skill of listening in silence, or using silence. Silent.”

For the people, we narrowly avoided a philosophical conversation about the immaculate conception. I used the no advice sentiment to say that I’m not trying to influence the way they think. It worked all right.

Imhotep: Al is an older man with a cane. He sits down and asks if we know about Imhotep. We do not, but learn that he is the architect who built the pyramids. And I learned about past participle phrasing. He gives me his phone number. He also speaks for thirty or forty minutes. It could have been twenty. He says he’s a driver for some women that he’s waiting for. He doesn’t walk around too much anymore because of his leg, but what a beautiful day it is. He speaks about Imhotep and says that people in Egypt would name their children Hotep in the hopes that they would think like the original, that the name is a blessing to try to elevate the child. That was a good story. He left, and came back.

Hawaiian Stan: His family is with him, but they walk on. He decides to stay and chat for a little bit. He is from Hawaii. He says he cares about his family more than anything. He says the three things he loves are communication, trust, and love. He says he speaks six or seven language, I can’t remember. He’s proud of his culture but regrets not having his kids learn to speak Hawaiian. He’s also a designer of clothing and merchandise that feature brightly colored animals. He shows us a design of a sea creature that he sold to a nearby aquarium and was proud of that. He seems to have done pretty well with his designs. He says his father worked in a restaurant and got exposed to so much culture through the guests. It’s a wonderful time listening to him. He eventually realizes that his family has gone away and he leaves to catch up with them.

The third Catholic person approaches the table and this time Tiffany says nothing. I don’t remember much about the conversation, but I remember the feeling of watching Tiffany go from someone who struggles to do silence to someone who holds it well in the span of three conversations with Catholics.

In the drive back, we reflect on how all these Catholics came today. Tiffany remarks that perhaps they all came because that would be something that challenges her. Indeed, it was a pleasant experience witnessing Tiffany get challenged repeatedly, and each time you could see the gears turning and the listening churning.

I had a wonderful time.

(Also, Tiffany brought croissants, homemade and incredibly tasty. She has some wild knack for baked goods, as she describes, and it’s true. I opt to keep them behind the table so that we don’t distract people, but I do offer one to Imhotep, who declines.)